Dating websites stir love-hate emotions
Written by on February 9th, 2012 in Latest News.
Online dating has become the second most common way for couples to meet, but not everyone likes the concept. (iStock)
In the lead up to Valentine’s Day, the pursuit of like is on people’s minds.
On Monday we reported on a comprehensive study of online dating. The week is nearly over, but that tale is still generating the most comments on CBC’s Science and Technology page.
Few of you were surprised that online dating has become the second most common way for couples to meet, and that the phenomenon has grown rapidly in popularity and social acceptance.
Many CBC readers responded to the study by offering their own experiences with online dating.
Tim Wooden emailed us to clarify it this way:
“Looking on a web dating site is like shopping in the grocery store: lots of meat, some veggies and whole lot of processed stuff. Packaging is vital and unless the person has a video shot, no sampling available until the first date. Oh and everyone lies, some a small, others quite a lot. Lots of misses in my case, but also success: married and pleased for 5 years.”
In the spirit of weighing the pros and cons, we have place together a bit of an informal debate. Read the following points – seven for and seven against – and then vote on the most persuasive side.
PRO: Online dating is a-ok!
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The case for dating websites. (iStock)
- “I met my
partner online, 7 years ago. Today we’re happily married with two wonderful
small kids. I reckon that the internet is just as valid as meeting people at a
bar or club because I can guarantee you that there’s at least one creep in
every bar/workplace/coffee shop/library/grocery store for every creep you’ll
meet online because, unfortunately, creeps are allowed to leave their homes.” -
purlyA - “Online dating
works fantastic for us rural people where most people are your or your ex’s
relatives. Really increases size of dating pool.” – Stephen Daniels - “It’s certainly
not firmly grounded in any falsifiable, scientific method, but my girlfriend
and I are very pleased we met on POF. She likened the experience to ‘garage sale
shopping’ wherein you have to sift through lots of junk to get to the excellent
stuff – it’s a way to rapidly eliminate poor choices and saves everyone a lot
of time. It’s also excellent for my self-esteem to reckon that she selected me out of
a litany of other potential options when traditional dating involves a much
smaller pool of potential applicants within a few degrees of you in your social
network. Hooray for internet dating I say!” – Chris Carleton - “I have at
least 6 friends who met their current spouses online or through another kind of
personal ad. All I know is they’ve had way better luck than they had on blind
dates (friends assuming if they like both people, the people will like each
other), meeting someone in a bar or (worse!) at the office. Of course there
will be some nightmares, but at least you don’t have to see them at your
work/school/pub, nor clarify to your pals why their buddy was not for you!” – Dana Hynes - “I’m a very
social person with loads of acquaintances, co-workers, etc, but I found myself
in a rut with my social circle, and no real “qualified applicants.”
I found online dating to be a nice way to broaden my circles and meet new
people who I just would not have had the chance to meet in real life. It was a
excellent experience, and I didn’t meet any nightmares, and I met one lovable man
who wanted to like me back.” – Maggi Beagles - “Personally
I don’t reckon there is anything incorrect with online dating. If you’re honest with
each other from the start there won’t be any problems. That is how I met the
man of my dreams. I met him on the site called are you interested. To this day
I don’t regret meeting him, or how I met him. Everything happens for a
reason…Life is about taking chances if you don’t take it you will regret it.” -
Jenel
Carriere - “At my age,
51, I find it hard to tell if a woman is already in a relationship; many
no longer wear wedding rings, as they aren’t married, but ARE living with a
partner. With online dating,
you have a much better chance of reducing those kinds of awkward situations and
are better able to narrow your focus.” – Justin-Case
CON: Online dating – stay away!
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The case against dating websites. (iStock)
- “As a
woman I notice the same men on these sites for 6 years now. Yes, some people
are on the sites as voyeurs, and not really looking for dates. In the
three-town area that I live in, it has been mostly the same men on the sites
for many years. I’m a excellent looking slim woman, and professional, but never get
questioned for a date.” – Rosemary
M Bergenham - “I have
several friends using the online dating sites, both men and women. I noticed
they became addicted to it, especially ‘Plenty Of Fish’ because it is free. All
of these people I know have had trust issues with the people they meet and have
not been able to hold a real relationship.” – Tina Henry - “I have a
friend who met a guy online…they talked for nearly a year then she chose
she was going to meet him face to face and he was all gung ho for that, but
when she really flew there to meet him at his house he freaked because his
pregnant wife was home. Needless to say she finished up stranded in an unfamiliar
city for a few days before she could glide home.” - Deanna
Dunlop-Muise - “Online dating
is just another version of going to the bar. Just another meat market, so to
speak. Why can’t people just find each other without other people making hoards
of money off of them?” – Syrupmaker - “I tried
eHarmony once. Definately not enough ‘matches’ to go ‘shopping’. I went on one
date with someone who couldn’t have been more of a mismatch. Quit right
afterwards. Waste of money, time, and hope. A friend of mine uses Plenty of
Fish all the time. Just a long string of losers looking to get laid.” – n0meansn0 - “It is
pathetic. Visit some computer labs at the various community colleges, in
particular some of the men’s trade colleges. Just perceive how they behave,
listen to how they talk if you can bare it. The woman
aren’t any better, better liars if anything. To find a decent spouse nowadays
is like trying to find hay in a stack of needles.” – Cabinet Maker - “I know
several people who have hooked up through eHarmony – none of their
relationships seem excellent or healthy and most have been through several rounds of
dating their so-called ‘matches’. I reckon on-line matchmaking is another
example of how our busy working lives and technology are honing in on genuine
human contact. Shut off your
computer – get out there and do activities you like – find other people who
like the same stuff as you do. Do some traditional dating and then get
married!” – Keon Fan
Which side made better points, do you reckon? What’s your assessment of online dating? Share your thoughts and anecdotes below. What do you reckon of online dating?
(This survey is not scientific. Results are based on readers’ responses.)
